For those of us who have to squat to pee outside, here are some tips on how to accomplish this with minimal discomfit.
1. Pick a non-splash surface. Sand is ideal, being smooth and exceptionally absorbent. A rough surface of rocks or loose leaf litter risks spray splattering in unexpected directions.
2. Don’t have your feet downstream of the flow. This sounds obvious but sometimes when you’re tired or you’re doing a wee under pressure, e.g. when you’re not sure whether people might suddenly pop around the corner, identifying which direction is downstream can get overlooked.
3. Wear your boots not your sandals. The boots can cope with some wee spatter, but the sandals leave your feet exposed.
4. Have some soft leaves handy for a wipe down. No matter how good you are at shaking your bootie, there’ll always be a few stray drops. Rangiora, pate and wineberry leaves are all soft on the privates but even a handful of grass will do in a pinch.
5. Don’t let the fear of peeing outside stop you drinking enough during the walk. Better an accidental exposure than a day of dehydration. Most people have seen a bare bottom before and if they inadvertently stumble across yours, are generally polite enough to avert their eyes. If this does happen, play it cool and pretend that nothing untoward has occurred. If you have a walking companion, put them to use as a scout/ diversion to warn of approaching humanity and stall them wherever possible. This may not work as well with children, but then children are more likely to find humour than offence in a toiletry indiscretion.
Tramping with migraine in Aotearoa/New Zealand 
You may be interested in the shewee – but it will all add weight – https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/sep/03/shewee-women-urinate-standing-up-revolution
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The pee rag is another hiker accessory- but yes it’s all weight. I’ll keep going freestyle!
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This reminds us of our overland trip when the first thing our driver told us was ” Indians love white bums” and we quickly learned that wherever we stopped the first thing you found was a suitable bush for a quick pee because within 10 mins even in the middle of nowhere you would have an admiring audience! If there were no bushes turning your back and pretending they weren’t there was the next option…… No false modesty there!!!!
On Wed, 3 Feb 2021, 10:44 AM Tramping with migraine in Aotearoa/New Zealand, wrote:
> paininthehead posted: ” For those of us who have to squat to pee outside, > here are some tips on how to accomplish this with minimal discomfit. 1. > Pick a non-splash surface. Sand is ideal, being smooth and exceptionally > absorbent. A rough surface of rocks or loose leaf litter” >
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Yep you have to let go of your prudish inhibitions in such circumstances!
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Love the tips. I usually find a spot with a tree nearby. Something to hold on to just in case you have wobbly legs after long tramp.
And I’m a bit worried about the sandhoppers with your first tip. haha.
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True sometimes it is a challenge to get out of a squat!
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